Archives: October 2005

October 19th, 2005

Rumsfeld, Poet Laureate

Rumsfeld: Poet LaureateA few years ago, Slate magazine posted an article titled The Poetry of D.H. Rumsfeld which included several unmodified quotes from Donald Rumsfeld in poem form. Sublime and thought-provoking, Rumsfeld’s poetry invokes – with depth and the wisdom of experience – the modern global condition.

OK, not really. He’s just a big evil dumbass most of the time. But unlike his big evil dumbass boss, Rumsfeld is strikingly articulate in his perfected idiom of equivocation and obfuscation. I also believe his mastery of the dependent clause to be unrivaled among his poet-politician contemporaries. I also have to grant that occasionally his statements, though obtuse and seemingly nonsensical, are quite profound. For example, Slate’s first pick – “The Unknown” – quite accurately described the situation America faced in Iraq (nevermind that going to war based solely on a fourth and unmentioned type of knowledge – the “fabricated known” – wasn’t a very good idea).

Anyway, I have painstakingly searched through web publications of notable Rumsfeld speeches and through the annals of the Department of Defense transcripts archive to bring you more examples of this man’s poetic genius. Enjoy.

Directive 1011
What we’ve simply got to do is to,
When progress
Broke down
As it did,
Came to a dead stop

And we were prohibited from
Going forward, the
Various studies that were put in place, the
Independent analyses that were asked for, the
Assessments that were made
Have now been coming in and
As they have it will require
That they be put together,
Analyzed and then

A recommendation made to the Congress.

— 10.11.05, Dept. of Defense Town Hall Meeting, MacDill AFB, Florida

More below the fold …

read more …

  • Google Bookmarks
  • Reddit
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
Posted in Politics  |  No Comments